6 bubbles of grief.
and these bubbles are made of glass.
bubbles, because there are times I look at them,
and I hold them out at arm's length away from me.
I don't wish to be near them.
It's tough.
It's weird. It's painful.
It's shattering.
It shifts in texture and colour all the time, how does that even happen?
but grief is real. and the only way is through.
So as much as I dislike it,
I hold it still. I hold it,
and I feel it.
I hope you do too.
so, 6 bubbles of grief.
one, losing someone who hurt you.
two, losing someone who wasn't good for you.
maybe three is about losing someone who didn't apologise.
and four is then about losing hope and trust in someone who let you down.
especially if that someone, was the one person you never would have guessed.
five, losing what could have been.
and six, losing something i thought was going to be my forever.
6 bubbles of grief, that I've been holding in my palms in 2021.
I'm writing this to remind both me and you, that grief doesn't ever just come in one colour.
You don't only get to grieve just because someone dies.
As long as there is a loss, there is grief.
As long as it mattered to you, there is grief.
You don't need to 'deserve' to grieve, fuck that
Grief is an emotional experience, as with the 'common' ones like anger, joy, sadness, envy.
As long as you feel it, you feel it.
There is no criteria to meet, for it to be okay and valid for you to feel, okay?
so yes, 6 bubbles of grief.
I fumbled through all 6 last year, and I believe I still am grieving.
I'm still exploring what it really means to grieve.
Because just like parenting, there's no guidebook to grief.
All I can and will choose to do, is
choose
to grieve
and be with grief.
Choose
to
be gentle, patient, loving towards myself and
every other person's life I get to touch.
and if you're still reading this,
when you do come together with grief,
whichever bubble of loss it may be for you?
It will be tough, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
May you open up your palm in due time, for the bubble of grief to do what it needs to do
and
for what else could potentially come into your life,
to participate in your journey too.
♡,
val
