For the ones who feel like they don’t belong.
Growing up, I didn't really feel like I belonged,
and I guess this is for you
if you've been feeling this way too,
if you've ever felt this way too,
and all you want is to feel like you belong.
_______________________
Maybe you're the one who feels so deeply,
and peers chuckle at how you seem so 'emo all the time'
when you're really just learning to connect with your emotions.
•
Maybe you're the one who
no longer wishes to stay in the race, the one who wishes to step off the track
and pursue what truly matters to you when everyone else rolls on to pursue what's conventionally seen as success.
•
Maybe you're the one who wishes for more depth in conversation,
when your friends just seem to find it 'awkward' and 'too deep'.
•
Maybe you're the girl who preferred playing block catching
and police&thief with the boys,
when all the other girls in class rather sit in the shade of the canteen.
•
Maybe you're the boy who preferred sitting in the shade of the canteen,
when all the other boys in class rather be out in the sun running and kicking empty water bottles.
•
If you felt like you didn't belong, and you just yearn to find your place in this world,
I want you to hear this;
1. You're not alone.
2. You just haven't found, nor created your tribe.
3. The lack of acceptance by those around you says nothing about your place in this world.
_______________________________________
[I'm telling you,]
you're not alone.
_______ I used to feel like I didn't belong, in a way that disturbed me greatly.
"Am I that much of an oddball?"
"Why am I so weird?"
"I'm not girly enough. Guys probably won't like me"
But over the years, as I struggled to belong, I met several others who were... like me.
Several others who connected with me in a way that didn't seem logical at all.
So I'm telling you, you're not alone. I promise you that your people are out there, but you aren't going to be so lucky to stumble across them on your way to the market (which brings me to the next point...)
[I'm telling you,]
you just haven't found, nor created your tribe.
_______
I mean it, you will come across the ones who sing the same tune as you,
who laugh at the same dumb things as you,
who see life in similar perspectives as you.
You weren't born into a life that's made just for you,
and I need you to also realise that you've got to create what you want for yourself.
If you want to feel like you belong in a group of people, you've got to go out there and find them. Put yourself out there and allow your energy to attract the ones whose souls sync up with yours.
Find yourself a community, or build one of your own. What you wish to see in your life is what you shall be responsible for creating.
[I'm telling you,]
the lack of acceptance by those around you says nothing about your place in this world.
_______________________________________
If you've been feeling like you don't belong,
because of the choices people have made about you?
•
I want you to firstly,
feel it thoroughly.
Disappointment, anger, hurt, shame;
whichever it is,
I want you to first feel it full and through. Your emotions are part of you, and you deserve to honour these parts of who you are.
Then, I want you to choose.
Choose to see yourself beyond the words others use towards you.
Choose to raise your chin again, and meet the world eye-to-eye.
Everyone will choose what they choose to see,
and you have no control over how they react to you, nor how they wish to think about you.
To belong, it's never about having everyone around you
be accepting and embracing of you.
To belong, is to ground yourself in an unshakable resolve to fill your soul
with only fullness and wholeness.
To feel like you belong, is to first feel like the parts that make up who you are
are meant to come together as you.
The need to belong is inherently human.
And I also believe that the feeling of belongingness?
The roots of it starts from within you.
________________________________________
To be able to build deep connections with people around you, and feel like you belong,
feel like you are appreciated for what you bring to this table,
it starts with what you choose to believe about yourself.
So to me,
for you to feel like you belong, is to reach deep within yourself and speak to the roots of who you are, gently and firmly,
"I am who I am. And I bring value to the places and people I meet."
love,
Valerie.
